


Shifting Stars

by plaidshirt_jimkirk



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Fix-It, M/M, Misunderstandings, Space Husbands, and the ending of the five-year mission, argument, fixes the great pre-TMP breakup, insecure!Spock, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 09:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5863102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidshirt_jimkirk/pseuds/plaidshirt_jimkirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A misunderstanding leads to an argument which leads to making up and then forever. <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shifting Stars

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt: "The mission is not limited to 5yrs, it's ongoing(like in TNG). Yet during 4th or 5th year Kirk is offered promotion. But he totally refuses to the point of telling the HQ to gfo, because his place is among the stars. And he finally woke up in Spock's arms a few days ago, bonded and insanely happy. So there are no way he is leaving the Enterprise. ps: I rewatched TMP again, Admiral Kirk is so said and empty in the beginning: so here goes the prompt..."

The observation deck was dark and silent—an optimal atmosphere for weighing heavy thoughts when meditation simply would not do. This place in particular, with its massive floor-to-ceiling windows, had been the sanctuary of consolation Spock visited during such rare occurrences. There was a soothing reminder in the rhinestone-studded panorama out there that no problem was too cosmic to solve, for what could possibly be greater than the stars themselves?

At one time, that thought had been comforting. Staring out at the small glimmering lights in the distance to find full perspective had helped Spock ground himself on several occasions. The universe was his metaphor for eternity, and the stars hope and promise. They reminded him that despite his total insignificance in comparison, he had still been bestowed with the most precious, most invaluable gift of all. It was because of this gift that every moment he spent gazing at the glittering embers lighting up the darkness outside these great windows, he thought of Jim.

Now, however, he saw only as far as the ghost of his dark reflection staring back at him on the transparent aluminum surface. There was nothing more and nothing left than this.

Or, at least, that was what would soon be his reality.

Spock turned his face. His hands clasped tightly behind him and he looked at some obscure point on the far wall, not caring to see himself any longer. He remained there in deep thought, a statue cemented in place, even as the sound of the doors swishing open and then falling of familiar footsteps piqued his ears.

“Spock?”

He lashes fell for but a moment. Why now? Why, when he hadn’t yet fully centered himself?

“Spock,” Jim repeated in a softer voice, arriving at his side. When a hand touched his arm, their eyes finally met and Spock could detect a trace of concern coming from this man he had come to love so deeply—and also could no longer have.

Jim’s brows eased up and his lips formed into a forced smile. He had known Spock only came here when something was off, and was a little breathy when he inquired, “What are you doing here?”

“I had surmised you desired privacy while speaking with the admiralty regarding your future,” Spock replied dryly, making no move to undo the stiff latticing of his fingers.

Jim’s brows knitted down and his hand slid from Spock’s arm. “I’m not sure where you got that idea from. Actually, I…”

Those lovely hazel eyes wandered to the floor for a second, as if he were considering something. Jim squinted and lifted his chin, then shook his head and finished his previous thought. “I thought for sure you would’ve been interested in what we were talking about, since it concerns _your_ future, too.”

Spock simply hummed in reply. It was all he could do.

“Walk with me.” The tenderness had steadily disappeared from Jim’s voice since his arrival. “We obviously have something to discuss.”

Spock closed his eyes and bowed his head once in silent acknowledgement. He then followed Jim across the starlit deck and disappeared into the hall, leaving the large room entirely abandoned.

Tension loomed like the desert heat of Vulcan high noon as they made their way through the corridors without speaking. While there was no benefit in trying to predict the future when one hadn’t been granted clairvoyance, Spock couldn’t help but wonder how Jim would handle this conversation.

He was certain that he’d be let down gently. There would be a sincere apology and Jim would likely offer to help Spock move his possessions back to his own quarters; no logic could justify their remaining in what had become a shared space, when it no longer belonged to both of them.

With these thoughts, Spock wondered if command of the Enterprise would fall to him, or if Starfleet planned to move him elsewhere. Either outcome was undesirable, but it was the hand he had been dealt. _Kaiidth_.

The door to Jim’s quarters opened and they both stepped inside.

“Sit,” Jim said, waving his hand to the empty chair on the other side of his desk.

Spock preferred to stand; he recognized he would have better control with the ability to move around. It would allow him to avoid the empathetic look Jim would surely give him. But as Jim was already sitting, he decided he owed him that much and mirrored the action. Lowering himself to the edge of the seat, Spock’s spine was a straight column.

“So, it went well,” Jim started, casually reaching for the decanter of brandy resting on the side shelf. His hand fell on its smooth glass, but he only turned the vessel in a small clockwise motion before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Nogura had his usual attitude, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Spock merely studied Jim, observing the veil of seriousness which had washed over him. He looked upset—and then was searching for some kind of reply with his eyes.

“Certainly.” It was a drab response, and the only kind Spock could manage.

“Spock, I’m sorry.”

And so, it began…

“I wish I had the opportunity to talk to you about this before talking to them.” Jim’s mouth pulled into a line. “I’ll admit, that wasn’t fair. I know the decision doesn’t only affect me. But you heard how adamant Komack and Nogura were…how they sprung this video conference on me with no warning.”

The request for communication had arrived, right in the middle of their chess match; Jim’s PADD had chimed and not even a minute later, he was back in uniform and establishing connection with headquarters. Spock had remained well out of sight when the conversation kicked off.

It was business as usual at first, but the pair got to the point of the conversation quickly after. They offered Jim the highly coveted position of Rear Admiral back in San Francisco. Jim’s surprise at that proposition and subsequent array of questions after it had been more than Spock could bear to hear.

And so, he left…fled to the only place that could always offer him comfort—to find none there at all.

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” Jim asked, squinting his eyes, but immediately corrected himself when Spock’s mouth opened. He shook his head in frustration. “Not _mad_. Displeased.”

“What would you have me say, Jim?” Spock asked, his tone icy and skating on the edge of indifference, even though he was anything but.

That seemed to jolt a spark of anger through Jim and he leaned forward. His voice raised slightly as his palms met the desk. “Can’t you understand the opportunity here?! I’m sorry for speaking for you but the last I knew, you enjoyed space exploration and serving aboard this ship. You told me that yourself!”

Spock diverted his eyes, his hands clasping robustly beneath the surface. His assumption about Jim breaking their relationship off easily had been wrong, and he found that difficult to accept. In fact, Spock was unsure just how much more of this he could take.

“What did you expect me to do then?!” Jim pointedly demanded. “ _You_ saw how they were both brimming with excitement, how they weren’t about to take no for an answer. I had to nip it, then and there. Otherwise, who knows what might’ve happened if they had time to think about this.”

“Indeed. It could have been offered to another.”

With a huff and a wave of his hand, Jim sat back in his chair and crossed his arms again. “I thought I was making the right decision for both of us, based on what I _thought_ I knew. I see now that that was a misinterpretation on my part.”

“It appears it was,” Spock agreed and quickly stood. He could no longer sit there and listen to this, listen to the way the promotion had already changed everything. Of course, they had to distance themselves from each other now, but to consider that all of the gentle moments between them were gone forever… It was unthinkable. And in order to come to terms with that, Spock needed to meditate.

“I don’t get you!” Jim exclaimed, also rising to his feet as Spock began a fast stride toward the door. “Isn’t this what you wanted?!”

The question hit Spock like a slap to the face, and he whirled on his heels to face Jim. “To command the Enterprise?” he asked, carefully keeping his features blank and voice steady. “To be without you? To never see you or feel the touch of your mind again?”

Ignoring the sudden shift in Jim’s expression, Spock shook his head twice. “If this is what you had assumed then indeed, Captain, you do not understand.”

“Spock…”

Unable to face Jim any longer, Spock completely turned his entire body and stared down at one point on the floor several paces away. “Please understand that I do not hold you accountable for desiring or agreeing to this new position. However, I require time to meditate on what implications it holds for both this vessel and myself.”

“Spock!”

“Excuse me, Captain.”

With that, Spock turned toward the door but his forward movement was stopped by a hand latching tightly to his arm.

“Spock.” Jim’s grasped firmed and he maneuvered himself so that he was standing in front of him. His other hand lifted and pressed gently on Spock’s cheek, turning it so that they faced each other. He shook his head. “I didn’t accept the promotion.”

Spock’s eyebrows pulled in and his lips parted before immediately shutting. He swallowed hard, studying Jim in disbelief.

“I didn’t accept it,” Jim repeated. “Didn’t you hear me arguing with them for all that time?!”

“I…” Spock began, his body still rigid as his gaze fell. “I had taken my leave after the initial offering and your—” Their eyes met again. He slightly relaxed and his chin raised. “—seemingly agreeable response.”

“Mister Spock, don’t tell me that after all this time serving in the fleet you _still_ don’t know how to play the game with the upper brass!”

Shaking his head, Spock asked in all sincerity, “To what game are you referring?”

The tensity dissolved in an instant at that. A smile flashed clear across Jim’s face and his eyes closed as he began laughing. He didn’t stop as his hands tightened on Spock’s arms and he somehow managed to exclaim, “Come here!” while pulling him into a strong embrace.

Spock allowed himself to be hugged and carefully—unsurely—raised his hands to Jim’s waist. He remained that way until Jim concluded his fit of amusement and leaned back to look at him.

“Spock, I would _never_ leave you.” Jim’s voice was genuine and he was still wearing that smile which always made Spock’s heart beat just a little faster. “Is that really what you thought?”

His hands lifted and he cupped Spock’s face. “Since you left before the best part, let me give you a recap. They were pissed off. They were argumentative. But when it came down to my ultimatum of either staying in command of the Enterprise or leaving the fleet entirely, they started seeing things my way.”

“I am…at something of a loss,” Spock admitted, soaking up the affection he felt from the palms gingerly holding his cheeks. “I had been convinced that you were bringing me here to put an end to our personal relationship.”

“I’m going to explain something to you, Spock, and I want you to listen to me very carefully.” Jim leaned in closer. “I would sooner walk away from Starfleet before ever even _thinking_ about walking away from you. Do you understand me?”

Spock stared down into those eyes that threatened to drown him in utter adoration. His tongue barely slipped out to wet his lips before he felt the touch of Jim’s against them, and then they were kissing and he was melting like ice over fire.

But the arms that had always sheltered him and loved him were there to catch him yet again. And after several more words were spoken and the clothes started falling to the floor, Spock found himself mentally revisiting the observation deck for just a moment—mentally looking out upon the stars once more and bowing his head, whispering, ‘ _Thank you._ ’

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3333 This piece was originally posted on tumblr and in my short story collection, [Written in the Stars](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3558830/chapters/7837652) on my main AO3 account. I'll be reposting each of my short stories individually here so I can tag them accordingly.
> 
> Most smaller stories I write are prompt responses and self-betaed, so my apologies for any mistakes.
> 
> Hang out with me! [tumblr](http://plaidshirtjimkirk.tumblr.com/) | [KSA](http://ksarchive.com/viewuser.php?uid=12451) | [Wordpress](http://plaidshirtjimkirk.wordpress.com/) | [Pinterest](http://www.pinterest.com/cptjameskirk/)
> 
> Got feedback you'd like to share but don't want to leave it here? Drop a line to plaidshirtjimkirk@gmail.com.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. This piece is purely a work of fiction and I am not profiting from it in any way. I do not consent to my work being reposted or reuploaded, in full or in part, to any other website without my permission.


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